Tuesday, March 30, 2010

411 on Clerk K’s Absence

Many of you are probably wondering why there have been such a gap in my postings.

Was I kidnapped by a random c-store freak?

Did I purchase a wholesale quantity of Swishers and start a side business supporting the ever growing pot community in the Jo?

Did I finally cave and run away with the Spanker to perform in freakish shows across the country?

The answer to these, and the other odd little ideas that i know you have in your head, is unequivocally NO.

The truth? I got another job. Yes, you heard me right, I was able to secure another JOB. So, I had backed off to one evening shift a week at the store and have been lounging my days away as the coordinator/fix-it-bitch at a local salon.

(I know you were all thinking of our beloved pink haired Frenchie when I said salon!)

While this is an improvement, closer to home, no polyester polo, free hair cuts/colors, etc. It is by no means a “great career move” and quite frankly I’m getting tired of hearing that.

I was fortunate enough to tell some of my regular customers of this change. Some get what I’m doing and am happy I’m out of the store…or was…but more on that later. Some, well some are lucky that they don’t get a quick punch in the butt.

If I head one more “oh, Clerk K, what a nice job for you…someplace that you can really have a long career.” OR “you’re family must be so happy for you Clerk K, getting a career in that field.”

WTF? This is not a career. This is more money without druggies. This is a five minute commute with free cut and color.

I have a degree and am DAMN good at what i do, beyond those pesky political games that I don’t choose to play. I’ve made a conscious choice to not just go to another “career” job but find the right fit for me. My “career” comes with a damn good salary.

What I have now, is a job where in exchange for my 1 figure per hour, i do the following:

  • Answer phones and manage schedules,
  • do and fold my boss’ laundry
  • run his personal errands
  • planning his trips, dinners and nights out
  • dusting and learning the importance of being timely in follow-up

I mean, come on. When i graduated college, I thought that if i was ever washing a man’s underwear it would be because he was taking out the trash and walking the dog, not because he was my gay boss.

Seriously, is it that hard to believe in this economy that someone is doing a job that is below them to get by and not for a career? Really?

So, I’m splitting my time between the salon and the c-store and getting a little bit of a split personality. Promise to have more regular updates.

Happy Spring!

Thursday, March 25, 2010

I’m Backkkk

Clerks log. Stardate March 25.

Many changes are afoot in the Milky Way Sales Galaxy. New owners, mobile whores, no overnight shift and a host of other mind-boggling issues that are too numerous to mention. 

While there is plenty of time to get into the many changes that have been afoot in the land of the c-store, one constant has been the increasingly disturbing trend in young boys haircuts.

Now, let me preface this post by stating that I am from the mullet generation. The great hair don’t made famous by Billy Ray Cyrus and hockey players worldwide. I get it, mullets were a mistake, but never…and i do mean never…was the mullet this confounding.

We’ll just call it the Justin. As in Justin Bieber. For those of you not familiar with with tween idol, I’ve found a picture so you have a point of reference. Justin-Bieber-justin-bieber-8896340-600-485

Now, I’m sure that Justin is a fine, squeaky clean kid. He even ma’am’d Baba Wawa to death on The View this week, but really? His hair makes him look like a 15-year-emo boy had a love child with the Donald…and that isn’t a compliment. And the more popular he becomes, the more this haircut is walking around unattended.

Now, this picture is mild compared to the actual manifestation of what I am coining the “teen comb-over”. These guys are literally starting at their ear and sweeping their hair in a circle to “fix” this do.

Really? Who thinks the “swirly comb” is sexy? With your wrap around hair and your cool new Prius, the only people you are attracting are near-sighted Lesbians…thank god you’re not hot roding in a new Subaru!

Then, on top of this crazed hair madness, you decide that you’re “man” enough to buy a lovely peach Swisher and smoke pot. Remember boys, someday in the not so distant future, you’re going to have to show pictures of your high school years to children of your own. Is this what you want to show them?

For a bit of housekeeping, I have a new fan page on Facebook. Look for me under Clerk K. I’ll be posting notices about new blog posts, random mind wanderings, photos and interacting with you more there. Share the info with your friends and have them become a fan of Clerk K.

I promise to post more frequently and update you on the happenings in my corner of the galaxy!