Now, many of you know the side effects of a recession. You cut back on things. Fewer trips out on the town, you start cooking at home, you shop at resale shops, you cancel (heaven forbid!) the HBO. But when you’re really deep into the depths of getting by, those things seem like a treat.
In my case, “cutting back” has gone well beyond these small things. I’ve had to cancel my cable. I only have gas service in the winter. I don’t have trash service. Things that we take for granted have gone by the wayside. A treat anymore is buying the “good milk” at the grocery store or a $1 redbox rental. But with these changes you also are exposed to a new side of things that you didn’t know before.
Here is how those interesting observations come about:
I don’t have a bank account any longer. Some things didn’t shake out and I got overdrawn. i couldn’t cover the overdraft charges, and what do you know…voila! No account. So, instead of taking checks to the bank, I now do most of my banking at Wal-Mart and Check Into Cash.
I could be bitter. I could dwell on the fact that the charges I pay to these places would fill my tank with gas. Or pay for trash pick-up, or give me the treat of an actual manicure. That would just piss me off and what fun is that. So, I look at the humor these things could bring me.
Let’s take today for example. I ran to Check Into Cash to, duh, cash my paycheck. The guy in front of me was borrowing money so he would have cash for his daughters visit this weekend. Then the baby mama drama began. Evidently they were doing the “great baby swap” at the check cashing place and it was going horribly wrong. From what I could pick up, the baby mama boyfriend (versus the baby daddy) didn’t know that they were meeting “in person” for the exchange and he was calling every 30 seconds to see where baby mama was. She (baby mama) was shaking like a dog crapping razor blades afraid that she was going to get “in trouble.” Baby Daddy on the other hand was going to “whoop his ass.”
All the while, the baby is in the car. Alone. During a rain storm. Baby Mama finally answered the phone and I could hear her boyfriend screaming that he was gonna get even for this and she was lucky he didn’t call the police (i know, i was confused too…keep up.)
Please remember – they are in line to get money while this is playing out. Would you give these people money? I made the sad mistake of asking:
If you don’t usually pass off your child face-to-face, how exactly do you do this? Do you just leave her hanging out somewhere…like now?
This got me a REALLY ugly look and a “mind your own damn business bitch.” (When you run that little statement through your mind, think of the guys from Deliverance for an accent)
So…I then go tonight to get a money order for rent (remember, no bank account…no checks) at Wal-Mart. So there I was, the only English speaking person in line, waiting for my turn with Dorthea when a woman walked through the front door that was a vision.
Now, those eyebrows look like commas gone wild. You can’t see it in the picture, but the have a big dot at inside making them look like a freakin’ connect the dots picture head on. The black circle you see under her eyes looked like a reverse “smoky eye” where instead of lining the eye and smudging the liner out, she lined about a half inch under the eye and smudged in. Combine that with the lip liner, the overly bedazzled sweat jacket and her friend with the Irene Cara Flash Dance outfit and you haven’t seen a more happening 70 year old.
Would I have seen this at the bank? Hell no.
You keep your direct deposit and online banking. I’ll hang with this freak-show for now!