Thursday, March 25, 2010

I’m Backkkk

Clerks log. Stardate March 25.

Many changes are afoot in the Milky Way Sales Galaxy. New owners, mobile whores, no overnight shift and a host of other mind-boggling issues that are too numerous to mention. 

While there is plenty of time to get into the many changes that have been afoot in the land of the c-store, one constant has been the increasingly disturbing trend in young boys haircuts.

Now, let me preface this post by stating that I am from the mullet generation. The great hair don’t made famous by Billy Ray Cyrus and hockey players worldwide. I get it, mullets were a mistake, but never…and i do mean never…was the mullet this confounding.

We’ll just call it the Justin. As in Justin Bieber. For those of you not familiar with with tween idol, I’ve found a picture so you have a point of reference. Justin-Bieber-justin-bieber-8896340-600-485

Now, I’m sure that Justin is a fine, squeaky clean kid. He even ma’am’d Baba Wawa to death on The View this week, but really? His hair makes him look like a 15-year-emo boy had a love child with the Donald…and that isn’t a compliment. And the more popular he becomes, the more this haircut is walking around unattended.

Now, this picture is mild compared to the actual manifestation of what I am coining the “teen comb-over”. These guys are literally starting at their ear and sweeping their hair in a circle to “fix” this do.

Really? Who thinks the “swirly comb” is sexy? With your wrap around hair and your cool new Prius, the only people you are attracting are near-sighted Lesbians…thank god you’re not hot roding in a new Subaru!

Then, on top of this crazed hair madness, you decide that you’re “man” enough to buy a lovely peach Swisher and smoke pot. Remember boys, someday in the not so distant future, you’re going to have to show pictures of your high school years to children of your own. Is this what you want to show them?

For a bit of housekeeping, I have a new fan page on Facebook. Look for me under Clerk K. I’ll be posting notices about new blog posts, random mind wanderings, photos and interacting with you more there. Share the info with your friends and have them become a fan of Clerk K.

I promise to post more frequently and update you on the happenings in my corner of the galaxy!