Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Post-Christmas Update

Hope you all had a great holiday and survived the great blizzard. I think I spent most of my holiday on the road between  Christmas travel and going to a wedding on Saturday.

As you can imagine, with the crazy weather we had (just over 12” in the Jo) the stupid people came out. Christmas Eve wasn’t too bad. People were in a great mood and the weather wasn’t too bad yet. I did have a kid come in in shorts that were belted just above his knees and house slippers. He was generally a little punk, and I have to be honest that I'm less than friendly to these privileged little brats who think they’re gangsta. So, I made him dig in his pockets, which caused him to bend in half, for change when he bought his swisher. But i got an unexpected surprise. As Vanilla Ice was walking across the parking lot he slid and caught the hem of his shorts on his house shoe and did an old-fashioned face plant. Now, I shouldn’t have laughed, but when you trip on the hem of your SHORTS, you deserve it.

Now, the roads were hideous on Christmas Day, and while most of our customers were snow contractors cleaning parking lots we got a surprising number of other folks that had no reason to be out.

Paperhunters We had a ton of people who were out looking for the paper so they could see what was on sale the day after Christmas. We were in the unfortunate position of not having any papers delivered on Christmas day. Most people were very understanding, but I had a couple of women that were completely irate. How were they supposed to know where the best sales were? I even had one who asked me when I thought we’d get the papers in…my response…”Ma’am,  it’s 8 p.m., we usually get them in at 4:30 a.m. I don’t think they are coming.” She wanted to know if I could call someone and ask. No, i can’t. If the paper is 16 hours late, they aren’t coming.

Family Escape I had one guy come in and his hello was “Thank God You’re Open!!!” He then went on to tell me that they had lost cable and internet at his house and he thought he’d go crazy if he didn’t get out of there…there was nothing to do. I pointed out that it was Christmas and maybe spending time with your family or pick up a book. He just looked at me like I'd lost my damn mind. I have a feeling that the clerks that come after me will see his kids buying swishers for their pot in the near future.

Little Miss Crossfire So, I’m standing at the counter and watch this Chrysler Crossfire turn off the main road onto the road in front of our store. 2008 Chrysler CrossfireNow, this car looks like it may have a 5” ground clearance and this road was a bear for me and i have an SUV with 4wd. The car barely got off the main road and got stuck. I watch this girl get out on heels and a short skirt and start walking across our parking lot. Inappropriate car and inappropriate dress for this weather. She came into the store and the exchange went something like this:

HER: I got stuck.

ME: Yes, I see that.

HER: Can you come dig me out?

ME: Excuse me?

HER: Can you come dig me out? You are a gas station and you’re supposed to help people.

ME: Ma’am, I can’t and won’t come dig you out. I’m the only one working and can’t leave the store. And even if I wasn’t, I wouldn’t come dig you out.

HER: But what am I going to do? (cue big crocodile tears)

ME: Well, you can call a two truck, but that will probably take 4 or 5 hours, or you can borrow my snow shovel if you’d like.

HER: But I’m not dressed to shovel snow! I have parties to go to!

ME: Well ma’am, it seems like a poor fashion choice on your part considering the weather.

HER: (crying in earnest now) What am I going to do?!?!?

She then stormed out and the combination of her short skirt and tears suckered one of the guys in the parking lot to go help her.

Be careful out there folks and enjoy the snow. Don’t know if I'll get another post in before the new year, so have a happy one and goodbye to the cruddy decade that has been.

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