Monday, December 14, 2009

Parenting Skills Please

It’s been a while since I posted, because quite frankly I’ve been a bit desensitized by the craziness of the store and it takes a high level of crazy to register. One thing I do want to touch on is the parenting skills, or lack there of, that are exhibited in my little corner of the world.

Battle of the energy drink

Now I think that energy drinks  are horrid for your body in general.  When a person who has drank too many of them exhibits the same symptoms of someone who has od’ed on cocaine, something is horribly wrong. Beyond that, these are drinks that need to be for adults only. It bothers me when teens  buy them in bulk, but the buyers are getting younger and younger and parents are supporting it.

One example was on Thursday night. This guy came in with his two kids. And after wandering around the store, they decided they each wanted a Red Bull energy shot. Not a regular Red Bull, which is bad  enough, but an actual shot. I pointed out to the father what they were and his answer “that’s what they want and if kids shouldn’t have them they shouldn’t make them in the small sizes.” WTF? When did the rationale of “this comes in a small portion, it has to be good for kids” come into play. I again, pointed out that these are very concentrated energy shots – which fell on deaf ears.

So, Mr. Father of the Year proceeded to buy his five and eight year-old kids a Red Bull shot and a king size candy bar. I’m sure the little bastards are still awake.

Reinforcing Good Choices

Parents, you need to encourage good choices among your kids. These are things that I’ve overheard in the past month at the store:

  1. Kid brings a single serving of milk to his mom. Mom’s response: that is too messy if you spill it in the car, no why don’t you get a Mt. Dew or something like that from the fountain.
  2. Little girl wants apple juice. Dad’s response: That is way to expensive, let’s get you a Dr. Pepper instead (Juice is $1.69 and Dr. Pepper is $1.39)
  3. Boy wants a small Sprite. Mom encourages him to get the 32 oz and demands that he get a diet drink because he doesn’t need all that caffeine.
  4. Kid between soccer games wanting a bag of mixed nuts and a Gatorade. Dad encourages him to get a 1 liter bottle of Mt. Dew and a king size candy bar instead.

People. Pull your head from your ass. You want to know why kids are obese and for the first time in our history will not outlive their parents…look no further than the c-store.

Worry more about what your kid is putting in their body than what gets spilled on your damn car.  When little Susie has diabetes at 11, the answer isn’t switching to LoCarb Monster. The answer is that you were a lazy freaking parent and it’s your fault.

Oh, and don’t let your little curtain climbers eat ice out of public coolers. Nasty. Nasty people.


  1. dear clerk
    i was the father of the 8 and 5 year old i had my kids for the day and was returning them to my ex wife i deserve the husband of the year award

  2. by the way it wasn't redbull it was dynapep energy shot

  3. Ah, I get it! Hype them up and send them home to mom...lovely way to use your children to get even with another adult. Very mature. Those therapy bills are gonna be lovely...

  4. Good one on Convenience Store Dreamin' - it helps a lot!

    We clearly share similar parenting experiences and views.
    I've been reading one that I'm hooked on -
    I have a feeling you'd get a lot out of it.

    Incredible job on your blog; keep it up.