Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Thanksgiving Blog

Forgive me readers for I have been lazy. It has been 14 days since my last post...

Hope you are all preparing for the Thanksgiving gluttony and having short work weeks. I will be manning the counter at the c-store this Thanksgiving and I'm sure it will yield some great fodder (especially if we sold liquor!) A couple of fun things have happened in the last couple of weeks.

She's Bacckkk
In my last post, I told you that our dear Backwoods was leaving and heading back to her home stomping grounds. Seems like her parents have stepped in at the last minute and told her that she was staying here and not moving. Se, we are blessed with her special charm a little longer. But in those two weeks that she was leaving some very interesting things came out.

First, the guys next door at Quickie-Lube convinced one of their own that Backwoods was moving home because she was pregnant with his baby. Now this young man just had a baby with his last girlfriend about two months ago. A baby that he hasn't even told his mother about...but that's another story. He has seriously been sweating this one out and told me about his concerns.

His concern is that its someone else at the Quickie-Lube and not him, because while he did take her up on her "offer" he hasn't been the only one. Evidently there was an occasion (or two) for her to come over and do some servicing of her own in the Lube Pit.

He went on to ramble about open relationships and Quickie-Lube clerks losing their virginity and to be honest, I was thinking of Disney movies and anything that would prevent those mental images from being burned into my brain. So I thought of Lady and the Tramp and Lube-boy rambled on about Backwoods and the Lube Shop (if you're reading along here adult video makers, that is a freebie.)

I talked Lube-boy off the edge and he went back to the store. With that little talk I'm starting to feel like the Dr. Phil of the retail world. Maybe I should change my name to Dr. K and have a style that is somewhere between Dr. Phil and Jerry Springer. It's amazing what people are willing to tell me and have me help them think through. Truly, truly amazing.

Freak of the Week
So, we had a customer in last week that was PRICELESS. This woman was probably in her late 40s or early 50s and looked like she may have been the love child of Kate Gosselin and Elvira. She had this coal black dead possum haircut that was very, very messy in the back and stick straight int he front, al-la Kate. Combine that coif with with a shirt that was entirely too low cut for her age, yellow and black striped nails and jewelry on every finger, ear lobe and nostril. Yes, Elvira Gosslin was a treat. She was perfectly lovely, except she kept calling me darling, just a poor sense of personal style. She even drove one of those PT cruisers that resembles a mini-hearse.

For those of you that are traveling this week, be safe. For those of you that think Thanksgiving travel means that long trek from the couch to the dining room, well you're just lazy :) Enjoy your turkey and have a great week.

1 comment:

  1. I know that with some primal scream therapy we can drag out all the lube pit moments you're trying to suppress. GREAT to have you back -- I hope you sell a lot of turkey flavored Swishers this week. -- Warren